My portaloo omelette

I watched in dismay as MIGS tripped over my ice-cream, it had been meant 4 the stalking vampire, or at least my growling stomach. I frequently have long conversations with my stomach, they usually go like this: "I'm hungry"
"you just ate"
"I'm still hungry"
"we'll eat later"
"Can we eat cauliflower cheese?"
"No" Then the conversation moves on to the best way to crack eggs and the real reason why the circumference of the Earth is 24,901.55 miles (it involves three men in a shopping trolley and half a lamp post). I continues on my way when i discovered a new portaloo. I have always loved portaloos, ever since i was 7 and i watched "Rampage of the Toilet Crocs" (a film about a bunch of super intelligent crocodiles who hide out in portaloos then take over the world by turning the builders into zombies as they entered their anuses). In the portaloo was a severed head, but it was not an ordinary severed head that you'd see every day on the way to the shops, no, it was ginger severed head. I would've said i had a very strong stomach, i have seen sights that no man should see and walked out whistling (my nose was broken at the time and it whistled every time i breathed) but the sight of that horrible ginger hair made me empty the entire contents of my gut over the offending hair (at which my stomach complained profusely). I immediately felt better for two reasons: one, the hair was now smothered by puke and i could no longer see it and two, the heat from the hair was making an extremely scrumptious omelette.