One line, please

After a couple of seconds i landed with a very very loud bang, and found myself stuck. This did not surprise me, I often find myself stuck after voyages down tunnels. Soon i realised this was different to those innumerous other, although equally sweaty, times. For I was not stuck by my ventral extremity, but my dorsal! In other words, I had my ass stuck in something. As my eyes became accustomed to the dark, i found myself in a relatively small room. Having nothing else to hands, it took both, i measured the room using my penis: 9.6 by 8 (about 6' by 5'). 9.6, coincidentally, is the shape of the people that at this point materialised in the corner: double head in ass insertion with a pole in the main hole to give a semblance of normality. Sensing they had acquired an audience, the couple quickly wrapped up and ran out the door, much to my amusement as they were not wearing any hats. They were showing their heads off to the whole world! Silly moos. Raucous noises sloshed through the now ajar door, the thin beam of light provided me with an observation of the room, the instrument of my current entrapment was a timpani. I grabbed the large metal trolley to my right and pulled myself up and out of the glorified bongo, the action of which toppling the unit onto me. I screamed out of masochism, as the business end of a 12V adapter found its way into my third eye: "Ow." I marvelled at its ability to bypass 8 layers of clothing and 3 triple thickness condoms (just in case), if only I could harness its awesome power! But alas it was not to be, for at that moment i was awakened from my reverie by the infernal scream that knocked me onto my feet (if you remember, i was currently off them) and reverberated round the room like thunder, drawing a vociferous roar from even the irreparable drum behind me:
"ONE LINE PLEASE!" It felt as if my very being was being drawn to the silhouette that opposed me. I knew i must resist, but i could not. I slowly got to my feet, remembered i was already on my feet, fell over and slowly got to my feet. I slowly paced forward, pleading silently to go back, back to the safety of the laundry chute that really shouldn't be there, I reached the doorway and the malicious entity stepped aside, extending her arm to the long line of students that snaked out the door and beyond. I followed it. The luscious scenery of the LSS canteen barely registered as i passed through, walking past countless students, seeing the look of pure terror on their faces that i knew mirrored mine. The further i got along the line, the more the hag's spell receded, as i reached the end, all the way in Sweden, the last remnants of the enchantment finally left me, i collapsed on the floor and forcefully emptied my stomach of all the meals of the past decade, I had no anus, just a very big stomach. A felt a tap on my ankle, looking down, I heard a tiny voice shouting at me.
"Oy! That's my job!"
"Hi, Jethro." I replied. I pranced back to Sheriff, all my troubles banished by that tiny poofter. He's gay you know. As i entered through the back gate (I often take the rear entrance), I saw McBoner disappear round a corner. "How the hell did he get here?!" I cried aloud, "On second thoughts, how did I get here..." I decided we would just have to live with each other (ah, cohabitation), as neither of us were able to provide an adequate reason for our current location.