Coming out of the closet

Darkness.
And then a prick of light, impossibly far away.
Instantaneously surpassing us, spiraling round us, through us, up us.
Before it had even appeared, we passed through the now all consuming prick, and then..
Darkness.
And then a prick appeared impossibly far away.
A ball of white passed my left ear
And then i realised it wasnt impossibly far away, it was just really really small. "We're in a closet." I told MIGS with conviction. "You really need to stop doin it in front of two guys, Joe," i said on my way out, "but at least u jacked this time."

I emerged from the closet, to the scorn and averted glances of passerrs by, had they not seen two sweaty men appear from a closet before? It gets very hot ina gorilla suit, and i like to be slippy in case of emergencies. "One second," i said, spinning on my foot, i wrenched open the door, ripped Joe's bag out of his hands and pegged it down the corridor, in search of a bin. All who obstructed me fell, there was nothing that could withstand the irresistable urge to bin. I heard a call from behind:
"You've hit Meakin's pasta!"
"What?"
"You've hit Meakin's pasta! Run!"
"Oh shit!"
I turned around for a fraction of second to survey the damage, and ran headlong (yes, that one) into an overlarge window. "Bloody top heavy fractions!!!" I raved, smacking both fists on the seat of the toilet in the cubicle that slowly ordered itself in my vision, like soldiers to parade. I quickly chucked his bag into the adjacent cubicle, hoping for a splash but recieving only an angered grunt. I turned to see a person silhouetted in the doorway, meaty goodness dripping from his hair. Joe pushed past him, i admired his courage. He stood, glaring, I stepped aside and inclined my head. He kicked open the door, revealing a large man, with his pants down, who quickly rolled forward, swinging a turd over his back and into Joe's face. Hoiking up his trousers, the well endowed man shoved Joe and left. Unfortunately the floor was slippery from the leaking urinal i had just filled, and Joe's feet flew forward, and a sickening crack filled the air as he lost his life to a urinal. Meakin started advancing, I was trapped. A face off was inevitable, crowds gathered like carrion to a kill. I tried pleading wiht him, "It was an accident!" I insisted, but all to no avail. Suddenly a greater entity scatttered the crowd, in a split second i had jumped over Joe's lifeless body, which even in my mortal danger drew a chuckle, and was down the laundry chute (in the BBC?!), crying as a i descended:
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"