Ha, they kissed! And they're both guys!

Regroup.

Its a very nice word, isn't it. All very easy, and organised, and simple. Its not. Its impossible! Especially with no light... I'm tired, this is not what I want to be doing with my weekend (on a Tuesday), so lets just assume we regrouped shall we? Yes.

And and and we started beating them! I'm not quite sure what changed, s'gotta be something right? Maybe we have a new weapon, that's an idea, an anti-gay-ray! Wait, AGR, that's a rubbish acronym. Hmm, gay-reduction-beam: GRB? Ah, got it, a gay-annihilation-yupik, that makes GAY, which is ironic. Irony is good. A yupik is a member of the Eskimo of Siberia, yes, I did look up "y" in the dictionary, I couldn't think of a word.
And we've got more people, lots more people.
Where did they come from?
They are reformed Gay fighters, converted by the newly imported vagina.
Picture the scene, carnage, cleavage, heads of all kinds flying through the air and into the ear. Gay people cut down by the hundreds, all because they happen to like the wrong gender, which are of course infallible grounds for genocide. Jeb of the North died because he's gay.
The air around started to shimmer; the dimension was realigning! But something was going wrong, after a brief glimpse of the unimaginably enticing grass of Hart field (it was green! It wasn't brown!) the air started shimmering again. We'd gone to far!
"STOP!" I screamed. It was already too late. The fighting gradually stopped as the contenders realised the implications. We were once again stuck, with one difference: we now had no hope of return.

Spinning to my faithful companion and back scratcher, the fishy sperm, I was shocked by the sudden look of determination and what can only be described as a resignation to the greater good. He slowly paced the expanses of no-man's land and upon reaching the enemy lines placed his hands on a poofta's face.

Something twigged in my head and time slowed, they inexorably drew together and their lips met...

Needless to say romantic music would be playing and a camera would be circling the embracing couple, but I was too busy to be concerned with this at that point.

Time sprung back to its previous speed, as if having realised its previous sluggishness as extended tongues started licking each other and everything else they could reach.
"Oh good God!" I creamed, I mean screamed, and jumped back to Hart field.