Well, that took a while

I woke to the smell of rotting meat and the achingly familiar layer of rancid milk smothering my face. "Was it all a dream?" I thought, and then i realised "No, in fact, this was not my bed." After this revelation, the next stage was to work out where i actually was, I promptly wrote this on my newly formed "to do list". I glanced down at my register of required actions, 1st item: "Find out where I am." That looked hard. After repeatedly scanning the glorified napkin for any other plan of action, i concluded that there were in fact only five words, and that staring intently was not going to change this fact, consequently I set out to tackle said dilemma. This was easier said than done; it was dark. As i laid/stood/dangled there, memories slowly trickled through my pulsing sponge of a brain. Foremost in my thoughts was MIGS, this was not, whatever Heat magazine may say, because i had sexual urges towards the one who wears the suit, but as the final piece of the puzzle slotted into place, i reeled inwardly as i remembered his importance. He was not here, whatever this place is, its not big enough for a gorilla suit, he NEEDS to be here. I must find him, now. Unfortunately this was destined to join the ever growing list of things the difficulty of which where metaphorically stumping me (apart from my disability to play cricket well, I am all too many times physically stumped in those occurrences i get a chance to play), i was well and truly stuck. After 3 millenia, it occurred to me to rock. I turned on some hardcore slipknot (don't ask me how) and head banged until i emerged from my confinement, a bin, and walked into the relative brightness of the alley. A roaring inferno burned threw my mind as my retinas, close 2 exceeding the diameter of my whole eye after their adaptation to the perpetual darkness of my confinement, actually managed to invert themselves in their attempt to become small enough to filter the fiery luminosity that confronted my senses (well one sense anyway). I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but let me tell you, its not a nice experience. To cut this already unnecessarily long post down, suffice to saw that i hunted down a boffy scientist, said unto him "Bow Chicka Wah Wah!" And in turn, received a time machine, permitting me to travel back to my parent point in the tapestry of time. Fortuitously, the boff bore a grudge against mysterious stranger kind (i will not go into the reason for this now, but i will say it contained dangerously large quantities of fairy liquid), in his untwisted mind, an equivalent retribution for this was to set the destination of the time machine a day Early. And here I am, i have spent the previous 23 hours preparing for this moment, and look, the other me approaches...